


Their life, their story.

by insert_trash_can



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-24 20:20:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7521763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insert_trash_can/pseuds/insert_trash_can
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>His life may be about to change, but is it for the better? That is what he keeps asking himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The present

**Author's Note:**

> Soo, like. I kinda hate it but liking it at the same time?? This is a freaking mess but anyways, I gotta try it out.

He turned away from the mirror, from the face he was so used to wake up next to. He had never told anyone about his problems, not after what happened last time. Later on he had found out that what happened last time wasn’t his fault, yet it was his, it was those persons that had made him like this but he still had the choice to turn all the offers down and he didn't. He closed the door after he had walked in, he sat on their bed and just started to cry. He hadn’t had this kind of problems since last year, last year when it all happened. He had never seen himself being gay, but here he was, in his and Erwin’s bedroom, door locked like a wall between him and Erwin, a wall between letting Erwin know what was going on, a wall between himself finding out what his problems would cause his life that he had built up after last year. “You have to talk to me, Levi, I’m your goddamn partner!” He stood close to the door, he could tell how loud he sounded without shouting. He sounded mad yet confused and concerned, he had all right to be. Levi on the other hand was not in the mood to talk, he simply did not respond. After five minutes Erwin gave up and went to get the extra key in the hall, he came back with it and unlocked the bedroom’s door and stepped in. “Levi...Talk to me, please I beg you.” He kneeled in front of Levi and reached out his hand to place it onto Levi’s shoulder, ready to embrace the small body that sat crying in front of him. Levi just turned Erwin his back and covered his face in his palms, but the tears stopped. When Erwin moved closer to hug him, that’s when Levi finally turned his new cried face towards him. He let Erwin embrace him and tried to find comfort in his arms.

“Thank you…” He spoke quietly, almost so he didn’t even hear himself say it, but it showed that Erwin did hear him. When he spoke those two words his voice cracked, his tears almost back again, he could hear that from two words that was spoken in the quiet room. Erwin did not reply, he felt that the hug would be better than saying anything, he noticed Levi didn’t pull away or tried anything at all so they stayed like that for a while. Two men sitting on their bed hugging in the middle of the night. He then pulled away, Levi was the first one to speak, his voice steady now and his eyes no longer red from tears. “I’m going to make a cup of tea for me, want one too or anything else?” He said it as he was heading towards the door, not really caring if Erwin would respond or not, he mostly wanted to be alone in the kitchen for a while. He shook his head and Levi walked out and started boiling some water, he pulled out his phone and searched in his phone catalogue until he found the name ‘Hanji, (doctor)’ he quickly went over to the text area and wrote fast ‘What the hell?! I thought you said the medicine would work!’ He sent it quicker than he normally would have when he heard footsteps behind him. He threw the phone carefully at the counter and removed the tea pot from the stove when it was ready, he poured a cup to himself and turned around to see Erwin close behind him. “You scared me there, you giant…”

Erwin moved closer and reached out a hand, he placed it on Levi’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He tried to stare into those deep blue grey eyes of his lover, he didn’t see much more than pain and sadness, he didn’t have the time to see more, Levi turned his head away when Erwin moved yet a little closer to kiss him. “Levi, what’s the matter? You have been acting…strange the past few days, did something happen?” There where so much concern in his voice, almost like it was Erwin who had been crying and yelling. Levi finally looked up at him when he noticed he wasn’t the only one crying now, he moved his thumb up and wiped away the few tear drops that was on Erwin’s cheek. He made himself smile vaguely, for his husband he had to be strong. He may have been the one yelling, shouting and crying, talking about a divorce but he loved this man, this man had changed his life for the better. Erwin did not know that, that was how Levi wanted things; Erwin not knowing so much about his past, he could never even dream about leaving him, not even in his wildest dreams.

“Nothing, everything’s fine.” He lied, everything was not fine but he had to prove himself for being strong. Erwin had always been his rock, he wanted to do the same but he couldn’t do that if he was the one being sad and all. He tried his best to convince himself that it all was fine, or at least that it all would be fine in the end. And it probably will, maybe just in a few weeks, months, or even years but you never know when. That’s what sucks about living in the moment, you have to be prepared for anything, everything and nothing at the same time. Levi had never been good at that since last year, ever since that day, he didn’t know how to view his life. His life was just one out of a million, the universe wouldn’t care if he was gone, but those near him, around him, they would care, especially Erwin. Erwin was probably the only reason he was still in life, he didn’t know about it but, a lot of the times when he felt like killing himself he had texted Erwin and they would sit up all night talking about everything and nothing, their conversations could go from saying really deep shit like what happened with Levi’s uncle and his family to just sending emoji’s. He pushed all his bad thoughts away and tried to replace them with happy thoughts, like the fact that Erwin was in his life, he had someone who looked after him without knowing it. He let out a small sigh and a vague smile when his brain started thinking about Erwin, he felt happier when could feel a soft pair of lips gently meeting his. He tangled his arms around Erwin’s neck as he had to stand on his tip toes. He could feel two giant hands moving down on his back till they reached his ass, then they stopped and hopped him up so he sat like a koala bear around Erwin’s body. He really didn’t want to stop them as they were moving towards their bedroom but, he still needed to clean the kitchen especially since they had cooked and there where so much dishes. He pulled his lips away from Erwin’s and looked him in his eyes, removing some hair that had fallen down. “Erwin, I really need to clean the kitchen now, can’t you see all the dish? I can’t sleep until I have done it.” He spoke the truth, it was a kind truth especially since he used a very soft and happy tone. Erwin chuckled and put him down and just waved him off as he started walking to the bedroom once more.

“Join me when you’re done then.” Before he walked away he left a kiss on Levi’s cheek and slapped his ass. He could see the face Levi made since he did not know Erwin was going to do that, it just kind of surprised him, he usually didn’t do stuff like that when he knew Levi had been like this the whole day. Maybe it just was one of those ‘be better now’ thing? It probably was.

Levi shrugged it off and tried to say it with an annoyed tone but he failed, he could tell it sounded more like a tease, which it actually was or more than Levi himself knew. “Oi, stop that you big ass human.” He often said ‘mean’ nicknames to Erwin, but he never seemed to mind, since he knew Levi didn’t mean any harm to it all. He walked towards the kitchen, after the words had made Erwin chuckle. He started to wipe off all the dirt and dust from the counter, then moved on and did all the dish there was, then yet again wiped away all the dust and dirt from the counter and dinner table. After he had done most if it he thought he could do the rest tomorrow. It was already after 2 am when he had brushed his teeth and hopped into his pyjamas, he noticed Erwin was already asleep so he just kissed his head and lay down next to him on the empty spot. He quickly fell asleep, who wouldn’t, it had been a tough and long day today so he already knew he would be exhausted.

He woke by kisses and touches early in the morning (for him at least). When he opened one eye slightly he could see Erwin’s face near his and a big smile on his lips. “Morning sunshine.” He spoke softly and calmly, not full of energy like some days. He kissed Levi’s lips even though he knew Levi hated that because of the morning breathe, he couldn’t help it, that was always his excuse when Levi pushed him away just like he pushed him away and turned side now. Levi murmured something under the cover and pillows that Erwin could not hear so he simply said, “What?”.

“What time is it, dumbass?” He said it slightly annoyed since he hadn’t got much sleep last night and he definitely wasn’t ready to get up and do all the cleaning right now. He didn’t really want to get up at all today, not because of his anxiety and depression but simply because he was tired. He peeked his eye open when he felt a soft pair of lips against his nose. He wrinkled it as he snorted.

Erwin laughed and did it again; same reaction there. “It’s past 7 am.” He stood up and started to get dressed. “I thought I would go for a walk to the store and buy some fresh baked bread, want to come along?” He asked it so innocent, sure it was an innocent question but his tone was far more innocent than it needed to be.  
Levi’s response to that was to pull the cover over his face and hide. They had a thin quilt so Erwin could see how Levi underneath had been rolling up like a ball. He walked out of the room and Levi could soon hear the door slam softly after Erwin had left completely. He thought he could wait until Erwin had returned but he thought it would be better if he did the cleaning now and get it over with. So he stood up and started to dress himself, after he walked out in the kitchen and living room and did the last cleaning that needed to be done. When he finished up the last Erwin came back through the door and noticed Levi was up and going. “I see you’re awake now.” He glanced over the entire room and saw that he had cleaned the rest, even though in the shape he had left Levi he thought he would be the one doing the rest of the cleaning today.

“Of course I’m awake; I couldn’t help the fact that it was filthy here.” He snorted and put away all his cleaning supplies he had used and took the bag out of Erwin’s hand, he also noticed that he had bought more than they needed. He put all the frozen goods in the fridge like milk and yoghurt, he sliced the bread and put it on the table along with coffee, butter and other things they always had as breakfast. “We didn’t need this much you know.” He raised an eyebrow as he spoke the last sentence before he went quiet for a while.

Erwin chuckled and made his coffee before sitting down. “I know, but I thought I could buy some extra so we didn’t have to do that tomorrow.” He smiled and started to butter his bread. All Levi did as a response was to role those deep grey eyes of his. They had been together for one year this Saturday and Erwin wanted to do something special for him but couldn’t think of anything good enough for Levi. While he was thinking about that he caught himself staring into Levi’s beautiful blue/grey eyes that had a great depth in them. When Levi discovered he was being watched so intensively he didn’t mind so much, Erwin had done it so much that Levi no longer cared, unless he was in a bad mood or during sex. It was already Thursday so he had to work fast with the special night before it was too late. Right when they started to get finished with their breakfast he come up with an idea. “I got it!” He said out loud and slammed his fist on the table.

He had apparently scared Levi a bit too much since he practically screamed. “Fuck you for scaring me like that Erwin.” He received a small laugh from Erwin as he could see Levi’s terrified look, but yet that small smirk was placed on his petite and pale, face. Levi’s whole body was petite and pale, he was short as well but he wouldn’t let his figure or height stop him from being with someone as tall as Erwin or having shelves high up. Although he needed a chair to reach them or ask for help. “You gotta stop doing shit like that, or else the weekend won’t be special.” The smirk was back and bigger than before, that look he had when he was teasing Erwin was also there.

“I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just came up with an idea that I think you might actually like.” He sounded so confident when he said the last part. He noticed Levi’s face changed to a surprised look with an eyebrow raised, he could tell he was eager to know what the hell Erwin was talking about. “Oh no, you’re gonna have to wait until Saturday to find out.”

He sighed as he drank some of his coffee that he still had. “You know you are the worst tease ever, right?” He didn’t really receive more than a nod and a big goofy smile from Erwin. He really wanted to know what his partner had planned for them but he guessed it would be amazing since Erwin was such a dork when it came to romantic. Sure he still loved him, he hadn’t really told him that yet but on Saturday it would be the first time he ever said ‘I love you’ to Erwin. And even if he was a dork when it came to romance he loved that he was romantic, for Levi that showed he cared about him, that he meant enough to someone that they would do stuff like that just for him. He felt warm inside, he knew that it was time for him to utter the three words that had before meant nothing more than air, he would say three words that was full with real love, real love that made people all warm and fuzzy inside. He remembered how the first touch Erwin had given him that was more than friends. He remembered how those crystal blue eyes scanned his body, how they looked deep into his own eyes. He remembered their first kiss together, how perfect it was for Levi. How much fireworks there was between them. Some may say that their story is cheesy but he would describe it as perfect. They had met through their friend named Hanji, they both knew her from different ways but she set them up. Their first date was at new year’s eve and since it was tradition to kiss at midnight, they did and it was like magic for Levi. He felt like somebody finally cared about him, ever since what he had lost the year before.

He saw Levi’s concerned look on his face, he couldn’t help but to start feel low himself. “What’s the matter?” He asked carefully, reached out one hand that soon after had a smaller hand in it. He looked up to meet those grey eyes that could kill if he was upset, he was like a bomb, calm on the outside but a clock ticking inside, a time when it would explode the next time and you didn’t want to be there when it happened. He squeezed gently at Levi’s hand and tried to smile little only to make Levi feel better and make him believe that he was loved because he truly was. In this moment Levi was very confused, he wanted to tell Erwin what had happened a year ago, he felt ready like he owed Erwin to tell him but yet he felt like it would destroy their whole life together. For Erwin to know that he once had done shit like that was heart breaking. But since Erwin worked as a cop, maybe he already knew. He would never know if Erwin did know about his past until he told him himself, maybe he had just been polite and would let Levi tell him when he was ready? “Erwin?” He decided he was ready to start tell him now and tell the rest on Saturday.

It had been quiet for a while and when Levi spoke again, he looked up from his newspaper and looked straight at him, those blue warm eyes meeting steel eyes that was full of sorrow, happiness, loneliness. He had them all, every feeling there was, you could see them in Levi’s eyes, that is if you know him well. “Hmm?” He took a sip of his coffee when there was some quiet again.

Levi sighed deep, now realising what he was going to do. He started up soft with a question that kind of missed its question mark. “Do you know about my past?” He spoke like it was a question but with his tone he knew that Erwin had to know about it. He received a thoughtful nod from his companion and sighed yet again. He stared down onto his feet under the table but he both heard and saw a little that Erwin was no longer across him from the table. Seconds later he could feel two huge, warm arms around him and a warm body against his from the side. “Don’t you pity me!” It was meant as to say it soft but it came out way to violent than he had in mind, it came out like a snarl. He heard Erwin sighing next to him and the warm body was removed, he heard him walking out of their door with a slam. He didn’t know what to do now, just like he had thought, he had ruined their life together. Hopefully he could fix it if only he could control himself and his anger. He tried to call Erwin; no response. He tried everything he thought would work, except for one thing, probably the one that would work the most; running after him. Nothing he did worked, he thought about running after him but when he got to that idea he could be anywhere. It would be impossible for him to find him. He looked out of the window and saw that the snow was starting to come again, it was soon new year’s eve and it was so cold outside. Erwin had run off with no coat and he was scared that something might have happened to Erwin by now; got hit by a car, fall on a rock and bleed to death, get stabbed by someone trying to sell drugs to him. It was New York, anything could happen in this city. He left a voicemail on Erwin’s phone saying, “Hey Erwin, I don’t know where you are but I really regret shouting at you, I didn’t mean to. Please come home.” He had only left that kind of message once before, and that person got killed. He decided that as soon as Erwin got home he would tell him, he wouldn’t tell the cop Erwin, he would be telling his companion, the person that saved his life. He thought about it so long, he didn’t really know how long, he had lost his thought about time, all he wished by now was that Erwin would come home again. He found himself on their bed snuggling one of his T-shirt and sniffling, something he didn’t do very often. He had only let three people in his whole life see him cry, Hanji, Erwin and Eren. He got pulled away from his thoughts as someone knocked on the door, he went to open in hope it wasn’t a police officer to tell him that Erwin was dead, he hoped it was Erwin coming home, alive. When he opened the door he saw no one but Hanji, he had known her for quite a long time now. She was his doctor that Erwin did not know, she’s the one who had set them up. When she saw him tearing up she stepped in and put an arm around his small shoulder. “Erwin’s gone...” He spoke quietly and soft.


	2. The past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi's past is whole other story, he meets Eren. Eren and Farlan doesn't quite get along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured out how to work with chapters.. Hehehe, enjoy my little writing.

He ran from the place, without being careful, he saw the cars pulling up. He had to hurry or it would end bad for him. “Levi come on! We need to go! No time to watch out now, we've already got caught!” Farlan wasn’t so much far ahead but he was out of reach, Levi knew he had to hurry the fuck up or he would spend the rest of his life in prison. He ran faster until he caught up to his friend, as they ran to their own car and once seated drove as fast as possible, driving past all the cars, driving even though it was red light. “Oh my god, man I love the smell of money!” He held the money against his nose and smelled them. He was full of adrenaline and so was Levi himself, this was the top of his life, he thought to himself. He pushed lightly on Farlan’s arm but kept his gaze on the road to make sure he didn’t accidentally kill someone. The banker assistant was enough for now. When the sirens fell away and the cars that chased them was out of sight he pulled over to their lair, he stopped the engine and looked at him. “You made a mistake, we said we’d only take out the assistant, you killed two more persons that we didn’t have to kill.” He shot his deadly glare at him as he spoke, he didn’t like to kill people if he didn’t have to. He had got hired many times, this time was just for fun and for himself. Other times it is only for work. He had recently been hired by some powerful man to take out the assistant which he had, and robbed a bank. He got extra money in one catch. They left the vehicle and walked inside, inside to their dirty yet really clean and proper apartment. There were clothes everywhere but at the clean spots it was dust free, plans everywhere on the floor and a bunch of things you could need for a murder or a robbery. As Levi walked into his bedroom he found something quite unusual, he pulled his knife that he always had hidden in his jacket at the boy on his bed. He didn’t scream or anything more than pulling his knife, he was smarter than that with what he knew the boy could carry some weapon as well. He moved slowly as he got to the bed he noticed the boy was in deep sleep, he poked him carefully with the tip of his knife. “Hey kid, wake up.” He poked him until he woke up. Different from Levi, the kid screamed and Farlan came running into the room with his gun prepared. Levi looked over at Farlan and sighed, “A gun? Really, who are you trying to kill now?” He pointed at the kid with his gun and didn’t let his gaze away from the person on the bed. The kid looked terrified, like he was going to wet himself and maybe die because of what he had awoken to. Levi walked up to the kid and touched his brown hair with gentle and slender fingers. “Who the fuck are you?” He spoke with temperament hidden and a soft tone so the kid wouldn’t get afraid more than he already was. He found it quite hard not to draw his hidden knife at the boy, he usually would have done that but this person couldn’t be more than 18, it would be so wrong. He approached slowly, once he was there he lifted up the kid’s chin and inspected his face thorough, he set his hand a little steadier and kept his gaze hard on him. “I asked a question, it isn’t very polite to decline my nicely way to ask your name, so I’m gonna ask you once more; what is your name, kid?” The kid stuttered a lot but he did get the words out of his throat, he almost fainted, Levi could see it in his eyes. “Eee-Eren, sir...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is still a mess, it all is a mess.


	3. Erwin's past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His life in the police was very eventful. One of his close friend gets shot.

“Everyone get down!” He shouted from the bottom of his stomach. He stayed hidden behind a couch on his knees with his gun loaded and ready to shoot. His face dropped as he saw one of his comrades getting shot, all the gun shots had stopped and he realized that the bad guys had escaped and the rest on his team was by the one that had been shot, Mike Zacharias. As fast as he could, he ran over to him, moving all the other people. He saw that he had been shot in his shoulder, not too bad but bad enough to be dead if he didn’t get to the hospital soon. “Somebody call the damn ambulance! Hurry up!” Someone did as told and everybody knew that Mike and Erwin was more than friends, they were together and had been for two years.

He pressed his lips softly at Mike’s, kissing him as gently as possible, receiving the kiss back he smiled and he could feel the small tears burning inside his eyelid. Holding the tears back wasn’t something he was very good at, although if he needed or really wanted he could kill someone cold hearted without feeling bad after.

By the time the ambulance was there, it was too late. Erwin had left the scenario and went home, he couldn’t stand being there longer than necessary. He had called his friend, Hanji Zoë, he had to talk to her about what he had seen and what he went through, even if it was just a couple of hours since it had happened. They talked for hours, she came over to him and they ordered pizza so they could talk more without it being too expensive. “Hanji, I don’t know if I can stand being this lonely...” He looked down in the ground with tears in his eyes. He received a hug from her and some calm words that he couldn’t part from each other, it was just a bunch of words in a mess. All he knew was that he at some point had fallen asleep on the couch where they sat in her arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Erwin, loosing a friend like that..


	4. Home is after all, home.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He comes home to a slightly angry Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the chapter three being so very short, I will go deeper into all that later.

Erwin gently opened the door, it was 2 am. He thought that Levi was already asleep, it turned out that he was wrong. He was met by a small figure first slapping him the hugging him tight. Erwin couldn’t help but to laugh quietly. Levi’s response to that was to step away and look Erwin in his eyes. “Levi, I’m safe. No need to get all worry.” He realized that it was way too late to tell him that, he was clearly drunk, he didn’t even know the time. Levi walked closer, making sure that Erwin embraced his small body in his huge. “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one who’s boyfriend disappeared for so many hours ago!” He shut his eyes closed to just breathe in Erwin’s scent, that always calmed him down. His eyes didn’t open until he found himself in Erwin’s arms, lifted up from the ground and carried into the bedroom, carefully laid down onto the bed. He could feel Erwin’s soft lips against his now bare chest, kisses placed all over his chest and neck. Only to stop by the waistband, removing it slowly, Levi was now fully exposed not that he minded. His back arching when he felt the warm tongue at the tip of his cock, his cock that soon was whole inside Erwin’s warm, wet mouth, Erwin’s head started bobbing slowly, it didn’t take long until his pace was steady and fast. Since it was quite a while since Levi had been receiving a blowjob it didn’t take much longer until he came, breathe gasping and head down on the bed, resting. He could hear the gulp from Erwin’s throat and then he got a kiss on his lips before Erwin walked out. No words had been used since he had walked through their front door, Levi wanted to talk to him about before but he knew he would make them both upset and he didn’t need that now. ‘Saturday, Saturday is when I’ll talk to him.’ He thought to himself, he was so deep in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed that Erwin had come back, fresh mint scent came from him, he had brushed his teeth and then came back here and tried to sleep. Levi moved closer, trying to spoon with the big body next to him. Erwin’s response to that was to simply roll over and doing the same to Levi so they spooned ‘normally’. No words were yet uttered, maybe it was for the best. At least he had got the intimacy he wanted, what he needed. He heard how the large male behind him slowly fell asleep, how his breath fell heavily and slow, how his heartbeat slowed down. To that he could fall asleep as well.

~~~

The morning after Levi awoke alone, but no he knew he was only alone in the bedroom, he could smell the scent of breakfast out in the kitchen. He took the closest shirt he could reach, which was Erwin’s, and walked out, following the lovely scent. When he saw Erwin standing in only pants frying bacon and tomatoes. “Morning.” He smiled his warm smile as usually. Levi did not say anything back, he just smiled back at him and moved closer, kissing his arm, taking his lover’s scent in. Erwin could only think of one thing to do, so he moved the frying pan away so nothing could start a fire, he then pushed Levi up against the nearest wall, kissing his neck and his lips, kissing him everywhere he could access. Receiving a quiet moan from his opponent. Levi’s legs found its way around Erwin’s waist, two large hands found its way to Levi’s ass. Between kisses Levi pulled away to speak, “I think I could -ah! - get used to this.” Erwin hit a soft spot and sucked on it. Leaving a mark was one of Erwin’s specialties. A smirk started to show on Erwin’s face slowly. Although, he stopped kissing Levi and put him down, going back to cooking the food like nothing had happen. He just stood there and kept his mouth shut, a faint smile formed its way on Erwin’s lips that Levi couldn’t see. Although he did notice how Erwin moved around his feet at the spot, in their world that meant it’s all act. So he didn’t feel hurt or anything, he knew he would be taken care of later instead. All throughout the day Levi waited, waited to be taken care of, waited to feel both the soft and the rough touches Erwin gave him. He waited and waited, when the time had passed 6pm he knew nothing would happen, he knew something was wrong. When he walked to check on him, Erwin wasn’t there, he also found Erwin’s shoes and jacket missing.

He grew tired waiting, he had been sitting on the couch with a bottle of wine and the TV on for the past four hours. At some point the had fallen asleep, when he heard the door open up he woke up but didn’t look up, he faked being asleep. He did see Erwin walking in, turning the TV off and placing a blanket on top of Levi. Placing a soft kiss on his temple before leaving the room, walking in to their bedroom to get some rest for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi reveals his true worries about him? Do we like that? I think I do at least.


	5. The night can be scary when you experience it alone.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He remember how he used to feel, how he feels. Eren, Eren was his happiness. Only to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, yaay! Wrote it in a day, personal record, found the inspiration after some self esteem was brought to me.

He woke up in panic, not knowing where he was. It was dark, cold. He could hear the wind blowing through the windows, the lights outside were bright enough for him to see that they were open, that he was not on ground level. Probably in an apartment house he figured out. When he had calmed himself down a little he fumbled with his hand in the dark and found a phone, it might have been his, might have been anyone’s. When he pushed the button so it started the time showed ‘3:45 am’ it also showed that it now was Saturday, which meant that it was the anniversary. For a moment he forgot what year it was, or more like _which_ anniversary it was. He shot off a text to Eren, the person he was with a year ago, the person that no longer was in his consciousness. The text said a lot, it revealed how he felt for him, how he _feels_ for him. Love doesn’t just go away like that, not _that_ kind of love. When he tried to get access to the phone, it worked, luckily. He figured out it indeed was his phone. He checked the calendar, he realized it was the wrong date for it to be their date. He stood up, looking around in the dark, finding a door he walked towards it. When he opened it and saw the huge body asleep he felt the warmth in his chest spread, _‘Is it? It can’t be, can it?’_ He kept asking himself the same question, _‘was it really him?’_ He moved towards the sleeping body, reaching out his hand, his slender fingers inches from his arm, he never touched him but still. “Eren..” The words just slipped out of him, quiet in the night. As soon as he said his name, he remembered he had sent the text to him. The body in front of him moved but didn’t wake up, luckily. When the rest of his mind connected he remembered who was the sleeping form in front of him. “Erwin!” He said the name aloud, too loud. The body moved, whispering to him, seductive, drunk. Erwin’s hand made a gesture for Levi to lay down next to him. He did lay down, trying to relax after what his dreams and mind had done to him. “Erwin, we need to talk…” He spoke soft, low, nothing more than a whisper in the cold night. Erwin nodded his head, turning it towards him. Placing his hand on top of Levi’s chest, he could feel how it rose, and fell. Levi was the first one to speak, words he had never said before, only indirectly. “I love you, Erwin Smith.” The words shocked Erwin so much, he turned around only to fall out of the bed. Levi found comfort when he watched his boyfriend fall out of the bed, a small chuckle left his throat. He had never even felt like smiling when he though about Eren before, had Erwin changed him that much? _'Was Eren replaced by Erwin.'_ It might be a cruel way to think, but Levi kind of hoped that he had changed that much, that Eren had been replaced because that would mean he could talk about him without wanting to commit suicide. It meant he could explain it all to Erwin, the person he nearly loved as much as Eren. If he still was in his life, they would probably be married to each other by now but he had Erwin now and he hoped marriage wouldn’t come in a question soon, but if it did. He would be put against a wall between leaving Eren forever and be with another man forever.

~~~

When he awoke the room was warm, he was warm. A face, he was used to seeing, near his, placing kisses to his lips and his nose wen Erwin discovered he was awake. A tray stood in front of him, on the tray he could find his favourite food, eggs and coffee. He let a soft smile appear onto his lips as he spoke in his morning voice, the voice Erwin adored, the voice Erwin thought was the sexiest thing ever. “I love you.” There the words were again, uttered form Levi’s parted lips, this time Erwin didn’t look near as shocked as he had before. He just chuckled and spoke in a soft tone. “I love you, too, babe.” He moved his jawline towards Levi’s neck, once he had his lips placed against the naked skin he kissed, sucking until the skin underneath his teeth turned purple. A vague moan escaped its way from Levi’s now parted lips. His mind started thinking about what day it was, big mistake. His brain wondered from Eren’s death to the first meeting with Erwin, the two E’s he loved. He imagined how Eren would look like if he was here today, how he would be acting. When Erwin stood up and went to shower, he saw it as the perfect time to think, to think about everything. How he was the one to make Eren end up dead, but he was also the reason he ever met Erwin, ‘Was it destiny? Was it wrong? Was it right?’ “God, I miss you, Eren. Eren, my love, my safety. You were mine until death due us apart…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confusing? Yes it is, just gotta wait till next chapter strikes. Will someone die? Will someone new appear? No one knows.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so, again; sorry for a whole lot of messy writing. Let me know if you think I should actually continue it, it has four (ish) chapters so far.


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